Jena Sims Slips Into Her Pre-Masters Bikini, ESPN Ruined The Rocket Launch & Watch This Little Kid School CNN!
Over the hump and safely into a big Thursday. First one of April. Somehow, Easter weekend is already here. Didn't we just celebrate the new year?And what a great year it's been! Or, you know, something like that. But hey – this is the month that turns it all around. Easter. Final Four. MLB. The Masters. The NFL Draft. Tiger Woods bodycam footage. We just sent people to the MOON for the first time in decades. Why did it take that long? No clue. But we're not living in the past. We're eyes forward right now. We're rolling. Let's go. Welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps – the one where Jena Sims slips into a pre-Masters bikini as she and Brooks Koepka gear up for the year's first major. What else? I've got ESPN predictably ruining the rocket launch, takeaways from Tiger's arrest footage, my Red Sox are beyond horrible, and give this PATRIOT in Cape Canavarel a medal for stuffing CNN in a locker on live TV. A medal! Grab you a telescope to monitor the situation in space for the next few days, and settle in for a Thursday 'Cap!I mean, look at that crowd! And they said space travel was dead. Bologna! It's never been more alive! Maybe I'm biased because I've lived about an hour from Kennedy Space Station my entire life, but watching a rocket take off gets me every time. Last night was my childhood. I grew up watching us send humans to space six times a year. Back in the day, you'd stare at the sky just hoping it took off on time so you'd be able to see it. We didn't have Twitter live-streaming the whole thing so you could know exactly when it lifted off. You knew the launch time, and just hoped it would take off as scheduled. But last night was the closest we've come to that in a long, looooooooooong time. It was the first time my 4-year-old got to see it. We stood in my backyard, watching the countdown on my phone until it took off. Then we looked up and there it was, about 30 seconds later. She was thrilled. I was immediately transported back to 2005. My God, what a great time that was. I'd give ANYTHING to go back to those years. Two decades later, I felt all the same things. I don't know why, but watching a rocket take off – whether it's one of Elon's or NASA's – just makes you proud to be a damn American, doesn't it? I was ready to run through a brick wall. I wasn't alive for the Challenger. I was alive, and watched, Columbia. So, yes, there's always a pit in your stomach for just a bit. But goodness, did I miss that feeling. Until, of course, ESPN chimed in and made the whole thing about race!YES!Nothing fires up the libs in Bristol quite like seeing a black person "do something for the first time." It's like Christmas morning for them. Such a predictable post from ESPN. I didn't even know Victor Glover was black before yesterday. I was reading some sort of NASA press release last week, and saw he was a former D-1 athlete and thought, "Cool, this dude sounds like he can pilot a rocket ship, I think we're in good shape." Of course, when I saw the astronauts yesterday for the first time, I knew someone would jump all over this. ESPN is always the leader in the clubhouse on these things. USA Today is second. The Athletic is third. Black, white, purple – I don't care what color my pilot is. As long as he can wheel that sucker to the moon, I'm good. Sure, I could insert a Tiger Woods joke here, but I won't because I have some class. That being said, let's continue …Yeah, I mean, it's sad. I wrote over the weekend that I'm sort of over Tiger Woods, the human. I love him as a golfer. Love him. I'd watch every shot tomorrow if he decided to suit up and play from whatever private island he jetted off to. But Tiger the human is exhausting at this point. We do this every few years. We get tricked and duped and fall back into the trap, and then, as Tiger said, "boom." We're blindsided by another off-the-course incident, usually involving a car. Brutal case of hiccups, though. I can vouch for that. Those SUCK. We can all speculate on why he has them, but I won't because I prefer to keep my job. Also, a tough look for this company:I'm a Rogue guy myself, but to each his own. Anyway, let's move on to happier things and rapid-fire this Thursday class into a big Thursday night. First up? Tiger won't be teeing it up at Augusta next week, but Brooks Koepka will! Get ‘em, Jena & Brooksie! I don’t know what she's gonna ultimately pick, but I'm sort of good with the yellow SI bikini. Not sure Augusta is gonna love that given they don't even allow you to say the word "rough," but you never know until you try! Keep us posted, Jena. Good luck, Brooksie. Next? Let's check in with my Red Sox as the first full week of the MLB season wraps up!Great start to the year! The Red Sox are tied for the worst record in baseball, haven't won in a week, their new third baseman is the only hitless player in baseball, and Roman Anthony looks GREAT at the dish!My God. What a clown show. If they lose the opener tomorrow, Fenway may explode. Can't wait!OK, that's it for today. Good class. Solid class. Let's end it how we started it – by launching humans into space!What a patriot. OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).Your ever seen a launch in person? Email me at [email protected].
